My Kid The Comedian

• On our way to a restaurant with a Mardi Gras theme.
• Me: "Joey, you're going to get beads to wear at this restaurant."
• Joey: "Baked beans?"
• Me: "No, beads not beans."
• Joey: "Green beans?"
• Me: "BEADS!"
• Joey: "Baked beans?"
• Me: "....Yes, baked beans."

• I cringe everytime I have to bring him into a busy restroom in public. I know he's going to say something to embarrass me. It starts with him making a face and scrunching up his nose. I try to distract him ("Oh, look, two rolls of toilet paper!")
• Joey: "Ewww, Mommy! It 'tinky in here. Did you poop?" (And he's always SO loud.)

• My dad has a gas fireplace with a remote control for lighting the fire. He has Joey say "Abracadabra" and he'll secretly light the fire. Now whenever Joey sees a fireplace, he holds his hands up and yells, "Abracadabra!"

• When Joey was little he used to say "ba-ding" for open. One day I sat down with him and was determined to teach him to say it the right way. I used sign language and said, "O-pen."
• Me: "Say O."
• Joey: "O"
• Me: "Say pen."
• Joey: "Pen."
• Me: "O-pen!"
• Joey: "Ba-ding!"

• When he walks around barefoot, Joey says, "I'm barefooting."